请看以下照片 (信件是PDF文件格式, 我用数码相机从电脑显示屏上照了下来. 因为电脑显示屏太小,所以分成两部分照了下来)

 

      3月4日是阴历的正月15，过完了元宵节，春节就完全结束了。这是我成为大脑控制武器和电磁波武器受害者以来的第六个春节。这六年，是在残暴虐待中度过的，痛苦挣扎的六年。我的生日是在12月份，每年一到12月份，我应该开始准备庆祝一系列的节日的。但是这六年，我没有好好庆祝过一个生日，圣诞节，元旦和春节。而且凶手们每年这个时期，对我的虐待也会比平日更残暴一些。

    这六年来，我从一个对这种武器一无所知的普通在校读硕士学位的学生，成长为对这种武器有了一定的了解，并且积极发动群众，揭露这些凶手法西斯暴行。

一．              凶手是从2001年12月开始虐待我的。刚刚听到了一些奇怪的声音，而在一起的其他学生听不到，象所有的受害者一样，内心充满了恐惧；也象所有的受害者一样，我也同样认为凶手藏在周围的房子里。

2001年的生日，我甚至没有记住那天的日子，也没有庆祝。随后到来的圣诞节，元旦，春节，我都是在病床上孤独一个人度过的。为了逃避那些声音，我搬了3次家。2002年1月，是我长这吗大第一次，亲身体验了，原来疼痛，真的会疼到大汗淋漓，汗水把枕巾都可以湿透。

我到处找医生看病，跟医生抱怨我身体的疼痛，也吃过了很多止痛片，但是丝毫没有作用。我也去报过警，说有人在恶意骚扰我。警察也说使用阅读思维，及恶意骚扰等手段，的确是违法行为。那些日子，我也一直在祈祷上帝。“请帮助我！”

不知道是我多方寻求帮助起了作用，还是神终于听到了我的祈祷。从2002年2月份开始，陆陆续续有很多陌生人（来自全世界各地的人都有：有白人，黑人，华人，印度人，甚至还有越南人，菲律宾人）来跟我接近。有的问我：是否镶过牙？（或许他们怀疑镶过牙中会被偷偷放入芯片）；有的问我：是否动过手术？（或许他们怀疑动过手术会被偷偷放入芯片）；有的问我：是否耳朵内感到不适？（或许他们怀疑耳朵内会被偷偷放入芯片）。而我长这麽大，即没有镶过牙，也没有动过手术，耳朵内也没有不适。又有人怀疑我是否被下了毒（这是曾经一度让我及很多人都相信的一种猜测）。

    一些陌生人跟我接近，告诉我不要去看医生，不要吃药，因为那对我的病毫无帮助；也有一些陌生人跟我接近，告诉我多吃饭。对我喜欢花草树木，并且喜欢在家里的花瓶里每天插上鲜花的行为大加赞扬；我也碰到过美国人，他们说美国肯定有这种技术，这些虐待我的人是BAD ONES（坏人）。

    我也努力跟这些虐待我的人和平谈判，对他们说：如果他们能够在限定的时间内放下武器，我可以替他们承担所有的责任，将来对所有的人声明，我是自愿让他们拿我做一次人体的科学实验。

    但是，那些虐待我的凶手并没有放下武器。在当时的澳大利亚，没有人找到虐待我的人，也没有成功地制止凶手们对我的虐待行为。在被他们折磨严重腹泻了整整一个月以后，我连站起来的力气也几乎没有了。所以仓皇离开了澳大利亚。离开了澳大利亚后，腹泻就好了。在香港住了一段时间，恢复了体力，并没有直接回家，而是又去了一些地方。那一年，因为去了一些国家的很多地方，让我也明白了这些虐待我的凶手，他们的武器非常先进。他们可以坐在家中，而攻击到全世界任何角落的受害者。曾有人说，我是受害者中非常幸运的一个了，从一开始就有很多善良的人来帮助我。

二．              2002年12月，我是一个人孤独地躺在新西兰一个小旅馆中度过的。因为我曾经接触过一个想帮助我的陌生人，他当时对我说了一句话: “You can not come to us directly, that will bring us dangerous.(您不能直接来找我们，那对我们很危险)” ，所以2002年5月以后，我一直谁也不见。

伴着电视度过的2002年的生日，圣诞节，元旦和春节。受到了如此残忍的酷刑虐待，我忍不住质问神：“为甚吗人可以变得如此残忍？”

2003年2月份，当他们第一次使用他们的大脑控制武器开始晚上不让我睡好觉，并且在我晚上睡觉时“编一些梦”，并“传入”我的大脑，曾有人对我说，“他们采用这种方式虐待您，他们对您的虐待将是长期的。”虽然我那时还不知道这个世界上的其他受害者，但是，我想很多人知道的。曾有人很无奈地对我说：“100年只是一瞬间。熬过了这一生，您一定会上天堂。”从那时起，我每天在他们的酷刑虐待中，总对我自己说：“幸庆的是，我又熬过了一天，离我去天堂的日子又近了一天。”

2003年4月，过完了春节后就身无分文的我，回到了父母身边。（而我在身无分文后，这些虐待我的人从来没有停止过虐待我。在我一个星期内只有一袋面包充饥时，他们并没有往我的帐户汇过一分钱，也没有给过我一块面包。而且，他们还不停地在我耳边讥笑，说：她都成了神了，不吃饭也可以。）

三．              在父母身边休养了半年，虽然凶手们并没有停止虐待我，但是因为母亲无微不至的照顾，我的身体体力恢复了很多。在他们酷刑虐待我时，我一直努力跟他们进行和平谈判，号召他们做些好事。希望他们能够帮助别人追求幸福的生活，不要故意破坏别人的生活，故意给别人的生活制造痛苦。2003年的春节，我虔诚地对神祈祷：“我在中国，请让善良的人一起做一些好事，让中国在来年国泰民安，风调雨顺。”

四．              我的祈祷蒙神聆听。我在2004年也走出了家门，努力考察，学习，研究了中国的老百姓的生活，工作等方方面面。但是他们对我的虐待并没有停止过。2004年12月12日，我对这些虐待我的人说：这是他们的最后期限。如果他们能够放下武器，我可以原谅他们；不过他们继续对我进行骚扰和虐待，我一定要向全世界揭露他们的法西斯的暴行。

五．              2005年，他们并没有放下武器，而且越发残忍，并且很下流。我先给联合国写了很多信。2005年，我上网搜索了很多关于大脑控制武器的资料，并且找到了很多全世界各地的其他受害者。

六．              2006年，他们的残忍一如既往。我在这一年，上网搜索到了更多的关于大脑控制武器，电磁波武器和定向能武器的资料，也找到了更多受害者。写了很多网络日记，并且团结了很多受害者积极努力行动起来，在全世界，全社会揭露他们的极其残忍的法西斯暴行。

我也明白，20多年以前，这些法西斯分子的武器和技术还不是很先进，他们只能够藏在受害者周围的房子里或车里，所以全世界的受害者的数量较少；但是，现在，这些法西斯分子借助先进的科技，他们坐在家里，就可以虐待全世界各个角落的受害者。   

刚刚过去的大年30晚上，我一个人站在祖先牌位前，对神祈祷：很多人相信这些败类是美国政府掩盖的一群法西斯分子。但是，这群非常残忍的法西斯分子，即使他们是美国政府内部出了几个败类，这样的败类，只会破坏美国国家的安定团结，和国泰民安。这些法西斯分子应该被全世界正义的人强烈谴责。他们应该被坚决绳之依法。

       我不知道该如何来安慰跟我一样正在受酷刑虐待的受害者们。或许我只能够对他们说：“当您的内心在流泪时，请您张开嘴巴大笑。”“当您在超市里购物，帮一位够不着货架子上的物品的人拿一下东西，您会收获一份微笑。”"我的博客里留下了很多花草的照片,希望这些美丽的照片能够让您在痛苦中看到一些美丽的事物."

       我不知道如何告诉那些一天一天在令人发指的酷刑中“熬”过每一个痛苦的日子的受害者，何时这些法西斯分子才会被绳之以法，或许我只能够说：“报纸已经在报道有关大脑控制武器（微波武器）存在的事实”“很多人也在努力让政府能够公开立法和谴责这种运用大脑控制武器对合法公民进行酷刑虐待的法西斯暴行。”

       有些受害者已经去世，他们终于没有能够“熬”到亲眼看到这些法西斯分子被绳之以法的那一天。或许有一天我们也会死去。但是活着的人会继续努力。

I heard this story from other people.

(The reason that such a sad and love story could happen because there were a group people who had been torturing and harassing citizens using their high and advanced technologies, such as mind control and Directed Energy Weapons and they did not be caught and stopped according to law.)

A young girl was terribly tortured and harassed by mind control and Directed Energy Weapons and she was almost dying.

A young boy who was employed by torturers saw the girl’s terrible suffering. He never tortured and harassed anyone yet, and he tried but would not able to stop torturers.

The young boy took a very acute action. He kidnapped and raped that girl and asked the girl to go to police office.

The boy thought, if he was caught by police and he would able to drop out of torturers organization. And the jail was a safer place for him and he also wished the police would find those torturers through him.

But unfortunately, the girl did not want the boy go to jail, she did not report to the police.

As a result, the boy died unknown; and the girl also died unknown.

Aug 2002

On 4^th August, I receive my passport with visa attached from New Zealand Immigration in Beijing. I ask the cleaner to come to help me to clean the house, and contact with the House owner, let them check the house. On 5^th August, the cleaner come to send me to a tax, I come to the airport and buy an air ticket to Auckland.

I am traveling again. During this few months, I traveled a lot. Just wish to escape from their hands, but I am failure.

I write for my self:” Life is a journey. Just don’t lost hope! Don’t care what they are talking about. There will be someone in the World and say:” Don’t worry, I will help you, we love you. You will have a good life.”

It only takes me 2 days to leave Shanghai after I received my passport. Those voices don’t imagine it. After the airplane fly to the sky, they do no torture and harass me. In Hong Kong airport, I hear their voices:” Another lady has already died.” This news really frightens me.

I feel a bit tired; mostly I like the departure feeling when I take an airplane. Flying in the sky, looking at the cloud and sky from the window; it is so near to sky. I pray to God:” God, will I die?” I hear God say:” No. You are not going to die; you are going to be rise up. You will never die.” I ask God:” Why are human beings so bad?” God say:” You are my beloved girl!” I say:” They also want to kill me.” God say:” Don’t involve with them. Don’t listen to them!”

 

On the airplane to Auckland, I write a letter to United Nations again. First of all, I wish to let them know that I am in New Zealand, and I am dangerous because these group people they have been trying to destroy my life; secondly, I want to let them know that I call one world, just want to initiate: Peace, love, environment.

I arrive Auckland on 7 Aug 2002, those voices does not torture and harass me. It is the first time I come to New Zealand, after a terrible torturing and harassment, suddenly they stop torturing and harassing me. I feel the sky is so clean and the air is so fresh. I book one night at Mercure Hotel. And after taking a shower, I go to the shop to buy some CDs. And change 265 China Yuan to New Zealand Dollars (1 New Zealand Dollar=5.6338 China Yuan). Second day, I find apartment to stay. 9 August 2002, I go to buy a Brother 645 fax machine. The next few days, I try to search for a cheaper and quiet house to stay. And I have been to few houses to have a look, but finally no one rent a house to me. I try to keep quiet in the apartment and never talk to anyone.

 

I come to New Zealand, just because I suffered too much from those wireless weapons torturing and harassing. I am still very weak. Those people are very cruel and inhuman. God tells me:” Don’t talk to them; don’t listen to them; don’t quarrel to them.” “You just need to be good!” “Don’t have to know who they are.” “Close your eyes to them. Close your ears to them close your heart to them.” “I will stay with you!”

God stay with me. God protect me. When those devil spirits come to me, God hold me. Since in Australia, I didn’t see clear any face who around me or visit me. I didn’t have to know who they were, what they have talked, what they have been doing. I have reported to Australia Police and United Nations, government should take responsibility to search those criminals and catch them.

I just need to concentrate what I am going to do.

One day I go shopping, I buy some books and a dictionary. My electronic dictionary was stolen, so I have to buy another dictionary. I feel that I am directed to a book store, and I find a book:” long walk to freedom!”  God always use his special way to let me know there will be much harder journey that I have to walk through. God always use his special way to let me know how much hard work I need to do for striving for some treasures.

 

Freedom! Yes, Freedom! Freedom is one of the most valuable treasures in our life!

Freedom without civility, freedom without the ability to live in peace was not true freedom at all. --------Nelson Mandela

They start to torture and harass me again since the second week. My leg and back are serious pain. I have to lie down on the bed. Their voices sound from the upstairs room 904, so I even think they stay in upstairs. P comes to visit me and takes my passport. He is going to help me to send my passport to New Zealand Immigration Office to get visa chopped.

 

I lie down on the bed and can’t do anything. And I also cough. Their souls are controlled by Satan, No love feelings inside their mind. They are very cruel.

 

I decide to work hard for One World. Because my body can not move, but my brain can move. I write down: one world is a ship from God. We only have one earth; we need to protect our earth.

I don’t want to set up an organization which called one world, but only want to initiate an idea, a consciousness. I tell the people who is around me:” Don’t join me, join the legal parties.”

Maybe there is only one person who works for one world, maybe there is 100, 1000, 1000000. But I know there is at least one person—me is working hard for one world, I will still work hard.

 

Sep 2002

I keep quiet, following Jesus Christ’s words:” Close your eyes to them, close your ears to them, cloth your mouth to them, and close your heart to them. Be Far away from them. Don’t involve with them.”

These devil spirits always make me cry. But God always can use his way to make me happy, to make me smile.

I really find the real cold. This is a war against torture and fight for freedom. This war doesn’t relate to politics; to economics; to religions; to personal relationships. It is a war between God spirit and Devil spirit.

I watch TV everyday to know what is happening in the whole world. Mostly I watch CNN or DWTV, Trangle Televisions. I have a one year promise with those who would like to initiate one world spirit with me together. One world is not an organization. Everyone can join us to initiate good spirit. Everyone can quit if they don’t like us. Everyone work for one world freely, we don’t take any salary.

I work very hard. Since 17 April, I say to them:” Yes, I can be the leader and initiate their goals and my goals to everyone.” I write down the main goals of initiation:-

(1) Environment development

(2) Peace

(3) One world love

(4) Education

(5) Police cooperation

(6) Economics

(7) Good moral refinement

(8) Protect traditions and cultures

 

We only have one earth. We love each other, we respect each other.

We are the same for all races; all religions; all skin colors; all classes; all riches and poor; all nobles and normal; and all nations.

We will build trust, build confidence, build love, build care, build faith, build dreams, and build understanding.

 

For my personal, the only thing I can do is just working hard even devil spirit torture and harass me. I spend my own previous years’ saving, even because of their torturing and harassment, I have to lie on the bed everyday. But I don’t want anyone’s money. I am fasting. I eat fruits, vegetables, and breads.

I don’t know how many people involve. But even there is only me who am working for one world. I will insist on working hard. It is about a promise. Except working hard, I also read some books with them.

My only wish is that there will be some one who can come to help me to stop their torturing and harassment.

 

These evil spirit laughing at me everyday, shouted:” cheers! I don’t like her. She is waste, she is evil one. She is useless. She is player. We have fun. She is funny. Dirty team. Dirty high. Dirty her. Meaningless. No one wants her.”

I don’t feel angry with them. I have been trying to help them. And since I was in Australia, I told them:” If you can put down your weapons, I would tell other people it is my own willing to be practice by your weapons.”  And Now I still trying to tell them, if they can put down their weapons before 31 Dec 2002, I will forgive them. But they never put down their weapons.

They even say:” If she can die for us, we will worship her.”

 

October 2002

P sends me a letter and tell me that Immigration ask me must go to find a job so that they can give you PR. I don’t report my electronic torturing and harassing case to New Zealand police office. But I am tortured and harassed by them cruelly. So I can not look for a job.

I don’t know whether there will be someone who comes to help me. But if no one can help me to settle this problem, then before I can win my lawsuit, I have to face some loss in my life.

I work hard, even my body can not move, but my brain can move.

 

Nov 2002

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.” ---Colossians 3-23

On 1 Nov 2002, I think it must have 9 essential qualities for a leadership:

(1)     High view, high goals.

(2)     Not selfish, Take the situation as a whole into consideration

(3)     Good moral, love care and respect everyone.

(4)     Diligence and act with caution

(5)     Responsibility

(6)     Love your enemies like love your friends

(7)     Don’t desire for money and power

(8)     Never give up. Always look the bright side of everything

(9)     One heart, one world.

Each month, I go to supermarket to buy some food 1 or 2 times, other time I stay at home and work.

 

Dec 2002

Dec 2002, I receive my new passport from China embassy in Auckland (because my old passport expired). And I send my new passport to New Zealand immigration to extend my work permit. (Because my old work permit expire day is the passport expire day).

 

I have been trying hard to peace talk with these electronic and voices weapons holders. Ask them to put down their weapons. But they never put down their weapons.

24 Dec 2002, the Christmas EVE, I sit alone at the window and seeing outside the sky, thinking such a long time their torturing and harassing suffering. I ask God:” Why could human being become so bad and cruel?” God does not reply. I see a black cloud cluster suddenly appear in the left side and fill in all the just now very fine sky within 5 minutes and it start raining. After 10 minutes, the sky is clearing up again, I see a piece of white cloud appears ahead in the sky, and the shape of the cloud looks like the first letter of my name.

“Jesus is real, the love I can feel. When I feel that I can not go on, he is right here to be with me.” When the terrible suffering strike me; when the sadness drown me; I always repeat this word in my mind.

 

Dec 2002, I initiate everyone include these wireless weapons holders: drop their weapons”; “Clean up their past, start their new life.”

I wish everyone, no matter what they have done in the past, but if they can correct their mistakes, God will give everyone a chance to have future. For these group very cruel fascists, if they can drop their weapons, I will forgive them, and help them to have a dream for future.

 

There only 12 New Zealand dollar left in my bag at the end of December 2002. I borrow NZ$500. I write some letter to let some people know my suffering and wish that they can help me during this very difficult period. In my letter I write:” I wish people within kind heart would donate some money to me to help me.”

 

At the end of Dec 2002, I also write a letter to United Nations:-

(1) To tell them what happened with me during such a long time,

(2) To let them know my initiation for one world,

(3) To let them know I will resign as a leader which call for one world and initiation one world spirit.

(4) to let them know that I initiate:” clean up past, start new life.” And if these torturers can drop their weapons, I would like to forgive them and wish they have new dreams for their life.

 

Jan 2003

I shift to a place where the rental fee is cheap. It is only a room with one bed and I don’t have my own TV to watch everyday. But I still feel happy, because this room is on the top of a high building, I can sit on the top of the building and seeing sky. But most of my time is still lie down on the bed, and I cough and pain and can not stand. I bring a set of CD and book of learning French with me. While me lying down on the bed, I learn French.

I stay in this room only 2 week and have to shift another place. During Jan 2003, I shift 3 times.

 

Feb 2003

I shift to a small bed-breakfast accommodation. It locates in a very quiet place and I stay in a very small room. This hotel has a back balcony. It is enclosed by trees and bushes. The hotel has a lot of books for guest to read. .Everyday, I sit in the balcony to read books. My parent send me some money, I pay for one month rental fee. It is around 15 minutes walk to a supermarket, but my leg is pain, once a week, I would take a tax to go to the supermarket to buy some food.

The torturers started to do the “transferring” since the last ten-day period of February. The first time they start to do this, the whole night I can not sleep well, a lot of bad “dreams”, like they are forcing me to watch a bad film. Next day morning, after I get up from the bed, I write down a piece of paper and paste on the wall:

(1) You must believe in God faithfully, when you need help, you know where you can get help--Pray to God.

(2) God only helps those who want to help themselves. God is patient and forgiving.

(3) God made everyone perfect. But those bad people, they made themselves bad. God's love is real--clean up your past, start your new life.

(4) We are living in One World. We only have one earth, we need protect our earth.

(5) Satan devil spirit is powerful, when he comes to you, you need to say: Go away!

(6) God did not make Satan; Satan turned himself from angel to Satan (devil).

(7) Everyone needs to have thankful mind. Love, care and respect each other.

(8) Make dreams; make plans for your life. Never give up following your dreams.

(9) You have the potential more than you can expect.

(10)Honor your father and your mother.

 

I also write a letter to United Nations to complaint their torturing and harassment.

 

The voices keep torturing and harassing me, they say:” She is useful for us!” “She is a mirror; all her thoughts are a reflection of our speaking.” “She can work for us.”

I tell them:” If you want me to work for them, they must pay me USD35 millions in advance to my bank account.” “If you keep torturing and harassing me, your actions are criminal, you must be sentenced according to law. And you must pay me USD2million per year for compensating my mental and material and losses.”

 

Mar 2003

I shift to a new place which locates on the beach, and it is much cheaper. I don’t receive money from my parents on time. My parents don’t know what happened to me and this is the first time I ask money from my parents for the last 10 years. I think that my parents must feel surprise that I can not go to work and I have finished all my life savings.

I don’t have money for food and I tell the house owner that I will give him money after a while, he agrees.

Everyday, I sit on the beach and keep quiet; never talk to anybody.

8 March, I find a rose in the small garden. The leaves dried and the rose bud is also almost dried. I pray to God:” God, I want this rose.”  That night, it rains for the whole night. Next morning, I suddenly find that rose blossoms with a very clear water drop on it; it is so fresh, it is so resplendent. Tears in my eyes, I hear a voice:” God loves you!”

Most nights, I like to sit on the beach and watching the sky. Looking up straight in the sky, there is three very bright small stars; well lay out in the sky. I will be the middle one, J (the lady who they say she had been suffering from these kinds of weapons torturing and harassment and they say she has already died during 2002) is the left one. Another lady (who is suffering from these weapons torturing and harassment) is the right one.

During a whole week, I only take few breads. Sometimes, I eat at the beach and watching the small fishes and crabs, I always share a little bit my breads with them.

I receive some money from my parents after one week. I pay the rental fees to the house owner, but at the end of the second week, the house owner asks me to shift to another place.

I shift to another much cheaper place on 19 March 2003. It is a very nice place, a 2 story apartment with a back yard and a gully behind it. There are some trees on the slope of the gully and a small stream running at the bottom of the gully.

I call a taxi to buy some food at a supermarket, and other time I lied down on the sofa. Morning or Evening, I like to sit at the bank of the small stream. The water is very clear.

There are one more room next to my room> Those invoices still keep harassing me days and nights, they sound so near, like come from the next room. If I sit at the bank of the small stream, those voices sound come from a nearby house.

What kind of monsters are they? They say:” Nothing changed here!” They tortured and harassed me 24 hours and it lasted 8 months. They used to torture and harass another girl and until they said “She died!”

How horrible things it was. But this is real.

How horrible they are! But a lot of people support them. They always say:” No body needs get in charge!” How

How horrible and cruel they are! But more and more people feel so happy to join them. I really don’t want to hear their voices, to see their faces.

I used to loss my confidence, because I can not find any help to stop them. So I rely on God. I am full of confidence to Jesus Christ. God is father, father is love. Father is the one, even you come out from jail; and everyone look down at you, b that will open the door for you and prepare full table delicious dishes for you.

I use my real love to work for one world. Even for these monsters, I also would like love them. During Jan 2002 to March 2002, I told them if they can drop their weapons, I can tell other people that it is my voluntary to let them to use my body to practice their new weapons.

During April 2002 to Dec 2002, I told them come to join me to initiate one world goals, if they could drop their weapons; I could forgive them and helped them to have new dreams in their life.

I really wish love will work out, not power, not money, just love and kind. But I am a failure, they never drop their weapons.

I feel very tired of those voices and even complaint twice to the next door neighbor, and ask them speak in a low voice.

On 28 March 2003, I receive a letter from P, he says that New Zealand Immigration decline my work permit and can not give me Permanent Residence, because such a long time since I arrived New Zealand (8 months), I could not able to secure an employment. On 1 April 2003, I fax this letter to United Nations.

I tell P that I will leave New Zealand within 7 days.

I write paste a paper on the wall:-

Tell yourself that:-

“I am perfect!  I have dreams!  I am kindness!  I am upright!  I am trustworthy!  I am confidence!  I am faithful!  I am loyalty!  I am filial piety!  I am understanding!”

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart!

Always try to help everyone around you! Smile to them!

Read at least 10 very good books every year!

Do it for one year, and after one year.

There is a Chinese archaism” Treat your enemies and suffering with a loving mother’s heart”. I always wish these group people would drop their weapons and never to bring suffering to other people. I also wish them can have a good future. But I want to ask them:” How do you treat their mother?” “Maybe you are much clever than your mother, or you can earn more money than your mother, or you are much capable than your mother. ---But you must love, filial piety and respect your mother.”

These people regard kindness and forgiving as weak and incompetent.

These people make new fascist concentration camp. I fight for the rights to have the freedom to achieve my potential, but they will indeed to destroy my freedom.

These people don’t allow you to dream for your future. They say:” You ask too much from the world.” So they want take everything away from my life.

These people remain unconcerned when they see I am suffering. Where is human being’s love in their heart?

 

Love is only useful only when we live in the world. Why they never think about this. They always like to say:” Useless!’ If love is useless, what is useful for this world?

They say:” Her story of love is totally funny.”

I feel so strange that these people they are very interested in bring suffering to other people’s life.

 

April 2003

On 3^rd Apr 2003, I call a tax and shift to a small hotel which near the airport.

During the time I stayed in New Zealand, I seldom involved with other people. But those taxi drivers are very kind. Some drivers are Indians; some are Chinese; some are westerns; some are middle-east people; some are even from Philippines, and African. Most of them are very kind to me. They drive me around and help me look for accommodation and carry my luggage to each place and only charge me very little money. One day an Indian driver drives me around to look for accommodation for the whole morning. But he only charges me NZ$ 25.

 

I stayed in the small hotel for 2 days and most of time. They stopped torturing and harassing me. So I like to walk around those very quiet residence areas. Sometime, I even sit down at some houses’ in front garden and take a rest. I book an air ticket to China and I also read the Bible which provide by the hotel for each room.

I talk a story to those ones who surveillance me. “A beautiful girl is taking bath in her bathroom, but forgetting to close the curtain. What shall you do? Some one would stand there and pretend to looking around the beautiful scenes, but his eyes take furtive glances to the girl; someone would take out his telescope and focus on the girl immediately; someone would turn his eyes to other places. You shall be the last one.”

I appreciate those who have been trying to help me while I stayed in New Zealand. And I write down a piece of paper for those kind heart people.

“Matthew 25-34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 I was Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed [thee]? or thirsty, and gave [thee] drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took [thee] in? or naked, and clothed [thee]?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me.

41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

42 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did [it] not to one of the least of these, ye did [it] not to me.

46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal

 

On 5th Apr 2003, I take an airplane and go to China. Even there are some mistakes, such as they write my passport “Korea Passport” when I take my air-ticket. But it does not make any troubles to me

 

I stay in Hong Kong for one night and I arrive to China on the next morning. My mom picks me up at the airport. The voices do not follow me when I just arrive to Qingdao. Qingdao is a very small airport. On the way to home, I am thinking how can I explain that some bad ones are trying to destroy my life and they have been torturing and harassing me for a long time, they are also surveillance me 24 hours a day.

I am afraid that they will harm my parents. I am thinking stay alone. My dad has a 20 square meters house in the mountain, and I can stay there. But my parents don’t allow me to say in that house in the mountain. They even ask me:” Why do you want to stay far from home? Do you have AIDS?”  I say to them:” I was sick for a long time.”

They bring me to the hospital to check whether I have AIDS, and any other diseases. But doctors can not find any reason that can cause my leg pain. My parents feel safe that I don’t have AIDS and I don’t have other disease.

Only 2 weeks after I arrive home, they started to torture and harass me again. I stay in my own room and don’t want to come out. I try to explain them that some terrorists are following me and trying to destroy my life. And I try to let them know my legs are pain. My parents ask me:” Where are these terrorists, can you show me one of them?”

Of course, I can not show mom one of them; I even don’t know where these terrorists are. My mom brings me to the hospital. Finally the doctor makes a decision: “There is no other reason which can cause her legs pain.” And according to her behavior, she likes to keep alone. She always jailed herself in her own room. And her pain comes from non pathology reason. She must have mental problem. Her pain is neuroticism neuralgia.”

I really don’t know how to explain to my parents. So I write a letter to United Nations and wish that they can help.

 

May 2003—July 2003

I did not have too much stuff left when I came to China. All my jewelries, my electronic products, even some of my clothes were stolen. I knew that they could surveillance me 24 hours a day, I even could not hide myself; of course I would not hide anything. The only very important thing I bring back China is dozens papers which I have written down my thoughts, my initiations, and my stories.

I decided to use three months to talk about the God spirit with them. I talked 4 topics with them:

(1) Faith is very important in our life.

(2)  The purpose of our life is to experience love; to experience how to be a good person; to experience work hard to make all your dreams come to truth.

(3)Be a light to other people’s life.

(4) Clean up past, start their new life.

(5) There is no end in our life.

And I read some spirit books with them together.

I also tell them:

(1)One world is initiating everyday; everyone can do a small good thing. I would like to lead them before December 2002, but after December 2002, they have to do a small good thing everyday according their life.

(2) I only donated money from them when I finished all my money and they tortured me and harassed me, and I could not work to feed myself; other time, I asked them to donate their money to other poor people.

(3) I also ask them to join legal parties in the world. Because one world is not an organization, and I don’t intend to make it an organization. One world is only an ideology.

May 2003 to Jul 2003, there are totally three months, I don’t come out my room, and my mom sends the food to my room everyday. I told mom I have been fasting, mom only cooked vegetable for me.

At the end of July 2003, I find that all my hard work is useless to these people. They start to torture me crueler than before. And they start to insult me cruelly.

 

Dec 2001—Jan 2002

This is a very warm Melbourne summer. If you say it is warm, it is a bit exaggerate, because I still wear a black jacket which has blue downy collar and lining. But you still can feel the warm, from the smiling faces around me, I can see the warm.

My roommate is a 21 years old Malaysia Chinese girl--E, she can cook many kind of food which she learned from her grandmother. Staying with such a young girl, I feel that my life goes back for 10 years, almost forget my age, and I feel I am a real student now… and original I am do a student who is studying Master degree here. The life is so free and unfettered and it seems that I had never pasted any pressure from working and life.

The student’s life is like a pure fairy tales. Every morning about 8 am, I will go to face the teachers’ smiling faces and some suddenly questions, afternoon I will stay in the library and become a book worm. E is a good small guide, if I want to go to some places, just need to call her, and she will bring me to any where.

 

That is a very normal summer afternoon. Just because it is too normal, I even could not remember the day. E and I buy some Chinese food and back to our room, E finds there are some big foot prints on the floor. E rushes to her room to check her computer and we do not lost anything. After have our dinner, I lie on the bed and continue to read book HTML, but only a while, I get a high fever, my whole body is very hot. I open the electric warmer, still feel very cold. I try to sleep until morning, look at the mirror, I don’t find any abnormal. But head is pain.

 

Crossing 2 vertical streets and crossing 2 horizontal streets, it is our school. The life looks no difference, teachers and classmates’ smiling faces are the same, and E is same. If there are some changes, it is that I always feel that there are some eyes from far corner to look at me, but when I try to look for those eyes, they will turn to other places.

 

My head starts pain. Because of the terrible pain, I feel that I am living in a dream. Walking along the street, I feel that I am like plankton floating in the water, and people around me look like some swimming fishes. Sometime I see their lips are moving about, but I can not hear what they are talking about, their eyes are hummed and hawed.

 

Some mid-nights, I can hear some gossip, suddenly weak up, it is silence and only the lonely sound of car passing by from a very far street, companying with the more and more cold Melbourne Summer.

 

After my head starts pain, I feel more and more cold, some hummed and hawed eyes like some frozen fishes’ eyes which just floating up from the bottom glacier of the South Pole.

Those frozen fishes start to talk in a very cold summer mid-night:” She is ugly!  She is dirty!” Suddenly weak up from the dream, I hear a clear voice:” Quiet!” and there are few young voices shouted:”She is ugly!”  One voice in Chinese say:” She is awake, don’t talk!” and another voice in Chinese say:” we will let other people know about her.”

 

These are some very sadness days. It is always rain and I can see God is crying. The Sun looks like a cold grayish white stone coving with dust. The black clouds open its big mouth to swallow the setting sun toward evening everyday. The leaves are floating in the wind helplessly.

 

I can hear a lot of voices very exciting gossip but everyone around looks like remain indifferent. I can feel more people follow my track and those gossip in midnight become unbridled, and hubbub loudly. I become wan and sallow. More voices joining in, like some evils just came out from the Hell and keep sucking my spirit and consuming my energy. I don’t know how to let those evils disappear from my life, only becoming more and more reticent day by day.

 

I spend more time on studying. I am terribly headache, some time the headache will let me lost my sight, or lost my hearing, or even make my teeth lost consciousness.

 

Maybe I am walking through the deep and secluded dead valley; just become very reticent, become a stone. And helpless is like a death rattan, spreading in the bottom of heart. My heart always rain, and my face becomes a statue. Because I hear the voices coming from ground floor of our accommodation. I shift to R’s house.

 

R is a young boy only around 24-25, at this age, the young boy always has a happy face, and of course he has a happy heart. R has a girl friend with white hair and visits him every week from another city.

I start to go to see the doctor. It is a China Herb medicine doctor; he can speak Vietnam, Mandarin, Cantonese, and English. He is Vietnam, very kind and he can write Chinese very well. It is only 10 minutes walk to him clinic. He always gives me medicines freely.

 

Those group evils still work very hard days and nights. I can not see their faces, but their voices keep worrying me, sometimes the voices sound near, sometimes sound far. My stomach starts pain, my legs start pain, and my hands start pain. My parents post me some medicine, but it does not work. I start to pray to God:” If God can see my suffering, why God does not just let me die to free me from the suffering?” I can not hear God’s answer, but I always can see the rain falling from the sky. One day I hear a voice say:”She is not the one we are looking for!”

Everyday I would go to school. The faces of the teachers and classmates seem blurred, like glasses drenched by rain. Everything looks like soaking in the water. My classmates are very nice to me. Each time teacher asks us a question, they will tell me which question, and also they will help me write down the homework.

 

Opposite the house, it is a big grass ground. Sitting in front the window, I can see the whole grass ground. Often sitting in the darkness quietly looking at the grass ground in the darkness, it seems floating in the surface of the water. And there is a golden leaves tree, shinning at the darkness; the outline is very clear; the leaves are dancing softly with the wind. I always feel that I want to break a branch, but never do that.

I have a small off white vase with 2 roses paint on it—one yellow rose and one pink-purple rose. I find it in a second antique shop, because of its classic elegance, I like it very much.

It is a very long January, I meet many stranger would ask me a question:” Can you speak Cantonese?” during the whole January, if I do not go to school, I would sit in the darkness, seeing the golden leaves dancing in the darkness. Maybe that is my only happiness while I suffering terribly from headache, stomach.

 

R seldom stays at home. I hear a lot voices from Neighbors. Sometime I hear a voice shouted:” Stop abusing her!” One midnight, I hear a voice says:” If you like her, you can fuck here!” I rouse suddenly from sleep and break out in a cold sweat.

 

I am very tired. I feel that I am trudging over the desert alone and people looks like some floating shadow. Some of my classmates see my reticent, and say to me:” We know you are sick, you must go to see the doctors!” I take one day medical leave, and doctor only gives me some panedal.

 

I get a fever again, but this time it is on daytime. I feel very cold and shiver all over with cold. I feel a fire burning from stomach , slowly spread to arms and legs, and finally to head. My body is so hot that it seems burn my hand. The fever last for 30 minutes and I tried to sleep for a while, but I feel my body floating in the air. I pray to God:” if you are really there, why don’t you just let me die!”  It rains heavily that whole night, that golden tree dancing in my dreams for the whole night.

The examination day is coming. From the internet, I find a name---lie detector. I bring my passport and go to the police office, a very young and tall boy ask me some question. I tell him:” I am under surveillance by lie detector.” He asks:” What’s that?” I tell him:” something that other people know about your thoughts.” He says:” we never use that in Australia.” “But do you have any enemy in Singapore or China?” he asks. “No, I don’t have any enemy in Singapore or China.” I stop for a while and say:” I don’t know who use that to surveillance on me. But a group of people are following my track, they are dangerous in my life! Some of their voices sound comes from neighbors houses.” He says:” we will check out your neighbors.”

After I come out from Police Office, I declare to all the voices:

a)       They must do everything according to law.

b)       They can not hamper my studying my Master Degree

c)       They can not destroy my privacy. They are not allowed to ask me or tell me anything about my past life. It is my privacy.

 

On the morning of the examination day, I go to the hospital. Afternoon, it is the writing examination. But my eyes are dim; the words look like floating on the paper. I don’t know how I finished the paper and go back home and sleep for the whole night but wake many times. The next few days’ examinations are smoothly.  On the last day, my teacher comes to me:” Do you have the first day’s medical leave?” I say:’ Yes.” He says:” Give it to me and I will apply one more chance for writing test for you.” Few days later, a lady arranges another writing test for me. I gain 17 score and the total score is 20.

 

After examination, teachers arrange a BBQ for students. All students come from many countries. It is a big house which has a big garden and 2 dogs—a big white dog and a very small black dog. Looking around, there are some bare hillsides with dried grasses. Another nearest house is around 100 meters. Standing silence in the garden, hearing everyone laughing heartily, I am thinking if all the hillsides are growing trees, standing there in a wind day, we can hear the soughing of the wind in the pines in a wind day; we also can hear birds singing.

Some students also arrange another BBQ at the bank of Melbourne River. I sit silent on the grass ground, hearing their laughing and talking, looking at the boats on the river; sea birds flying across the sky. Some elder are having BBQ just next to us.

 

R also drives me to 100km countryside.

Nearby my area, I see more and more cars, a new pub, some new shops and a new beauty parlor. One day, I take the train from Melbourne station, a man A about 50 years old, follows me to Footscray Train Station. He says he wants to give me a job opportunity, and another day, he buys a cut of orange juice for me. That summer, the sun in Melbourne always looks grey and cover by some dirt. A’s face also looks hazy. He asks me:” what do you suppose to do in Australia?” I tell him:” concentrate to study, but I have registered a company, so I have enough time, I can do some business.” He asks:” do you have any boyfriend?” “Yes, he is in another country.”  We only sit for about 10 minutes, he tells me:” Don’t take any medicines.” I tell him:” I am very sick. But I would take more Chinese medicine instead Western Medicines.”

 

After receiving examination mark sheet, there are 2 weeks holiday. I stay at home almost everyday. Looking at the mirror, like looking at a stranger-pale and reticent. I always remember the first day I came to the school, wearing a grass green shirt. E asked me:” how old are you?” I ask her:” Guess!” she says:” 20?” I laughed:” Maybe!” E told me:” I am 21, one year old than you. I will care for you, don’t worry that you are alone in Australia.”

 

Those group evils still harass me, and I start to understand that my diseases are come from their torturing. Even I can not see their faces, but I can feel their cold eyes. They are like evils from the hell, coming to the earth and bring all the darkness. They can not go to heavens so before they are destroyed by God, they are ready for a last-ditch stand to make suffering and catastrophe, launch wars and disputes. R tells me: he has a sister; she is a mother of 2 children and living alone in a small house. It is more convenience for me to stay with her.  So end of January I shift to S’s house.

 

Feb 2002

The first time I meet S, she wears a very old red jacket, short brown hair. She likes wheel shoes. Everyday a lot of people visit her, different skin colors, different races. The first time I shift into S’s house, she is very warmth. Anywhere I go—to the bank, post-office, supermarket, to see doctors, she will accompany me. S is a very nice looking girl, one day she borrow a green skirt from me and dresses up, looks very brilliant. I think that green skirt is more suitable for her. I do not keep a lookout to S, the only important things with me is just my passport and some documents which I have summit to Australia Immigration to apply Student Visa.

 

I am very sick, so I even can not have any energy or physical strength to care what she is doing everyday, and I seldom talk to her. I go to see doctors, but no doctors can cure me. Most of my time, I lie on the bed—headache, stomach and body pain, sometimes my hands also shake and can not hold anything; my leg also lose any strength always.

I hear a voice says:”you are poisoned.” I think if it is a kind of poison, it should be drained out my body according to sweat. So I drink a lot of water everyday, and sit beside the heating machine and let myself sweat, wearing many clothes some time even covering myself by a quilt. After my clothes are drenched with sweat, I go to take a shower and change another clothes and go to steam sweat again. Sometimes, S also joins me to sit beside the heating machine.

I hear a voice says:” Eat a lot of meat, they will not able to abuse you”. I buy a lot of meat everyday, sometime even buy some bones and cook a big pot of bone soup. It is very oily, it is terribly, but I close my eyes and hold my breath, pour into my mouth and swallow quickly.

I hear a voice says:” Eat sugar, they will not able to abuse you.” I buy a lot of sugar and drink a lot of very thick sugar water.

I hear a voice says:” Drink milk, they will not able to abuse you.” I drink many milk everyday.

 

Some voices say:” the left neighbor of S is Melbourne police officer; right neighbor is from Singapore; opposite neighbor is from New Zealand.” And some voices also say:” these two girls look like twins.” They seem look for another girl.

 

Sometimes I would go to supermarket. I can see a lot of people from different countries. And I also can see some twins.

 

I start diarrhea very seriously, my defecate looks like orange juice. At that time, Melbourne always rain. Sometimes I would sit beside radio and listen some soft music. But most of my time, I stay in the bed. If I get some strength I would walk for a while around the house. There is a very small garden nearby my house. Sitting in the garden, I can see my seabirds and many pigeons. A lot of people would bring their dogs to come to have a walk.

 

I like a tall and slender vase in S’s house. Everyday, I would pick a flower from outside and put inside the vase. I also like a picture, it is about 2 angels. S’s house has a very small garden, everyday a lot of pigeons come here, and I feed them with rice.

I hear more noisy voices and also some crying. One day, I see an Indian boy come to give S a rose. And I hear a voice says: “She is my girl friend.” I think maybe someone who comes to see me, so I “tell” them:” Tomorrow 10am, I will go to the train station to wait them.” Next day early morning, I arrive to the train station on time, and see some people there. But I hear a boy says:” I don’t know her; she is not my girl friend.”

Some voices say:” You still don’t know who you should trust!” Some voices say:” You still don’t know who can help you.”

I hear a quarrel:” Why do you poison her?” “No, we did not poison her. We just want to help her. If you don’t believe, you can ask her.”  So I tell them:” Don’t quarrel, don’t fight, everyone come here just want to help me.”

Middle Feb, there are 4 days I can not eat anything. I lie on the bed. I hear some people are discussing:” we will arrange a wedding for her.” During that week, I hear a lot of voices are talking about the wedding parties. I ask S to call a taxi for me. S asks her friend send me to hospital. I tell the doctor:” Maybe I ate something wrong, I had headache, stomach, my body was pain and I am diarrhea. They check my blood and urine. I call a taxi home, and hear a lot of voices on the way:” Tomorrow is the wedding party!”

 

After I come back home, I ask S to help me to buy the medicines. I take 10 pieces. Next day, I take 15 pieces. I feel better.

On the school registration day, I have to go to school. Morning I go to see Doctor, afternoon, I take train to Melbourne City. I drink a cup of hot chocolate in a McDonald, but I do not see the wedding party and any wedding car.

 

In school, a lady receives me kindly. She says she is the Director of Business School. She helps me to choose the courses.

Coming out from the school, I go to buy a CD workman and some CDs, the reception gives me a wrong receipt, I ask her change, but she still do not change accurate.

I am very tired of those noisy voices, I start listening to CD everyday almost 24 hours.

 

Melbourne city has many new shops. People come from all kind of countries. Sometime, S brings some friends back home. Some of neighbors change almost once a week. I am continuing with my medicine, and start to take some fruits and vegetable. Sometimes I also come to walk for a while around my house. I am listening CD everyday, and most of the time, I am listening to a song: “One World we can make, all wonders love can bring.” It is specially singing for me. Some voices say that they understand with love we can make one world, but I am still suffering from torturing and harassment

 

I write a letter again to Melbourne Police office to complain that I am being tortured and harassed by some people.

 

One day three police officers come and talk few minutes with S, they do not talk to me. But my suffering is continuing.

 

Mar 2002

Some voices say:” We are the joined action of Australia Police and China National security agency.” We are investigation you. I feel very angry about they start to talk about my past life. “Her family does not have high positioned.” ……. I told them:” If you want to investigate me, you must come to contact my lawyer and follow the legal procedure, you can not use torture .I have “No criminal record certificate”. I have the right to protect my privacy.”

But they continue torturing and harassing me. I burned my past few years’ daily to show them my anger to them.

I hear some voices to talk about my diseases, discussing how to cure me, but there are also some terrible voices teasing me. A young voice teases “She is my girlfriend.”  And an old voice also teases:” No, she is my girlfriend.” The old voice teases:” He is my son.” Some other voices laughing:” the father and the son are fighting for girl friend.”

A little rabbit toy in my bed makes them laughing a lot. “Little White Rabbit. White and White, 2 ears prick up!”

Their voices sometimes sound from the roof, sometimes sound from the wall, sometimes sound from neighbors.

 One day, I go for a walk near my house, two very young boys around 20 years old riding their bicycle and stop in front of me. They look at me and ask:” Do you live here?” I say:” Yes, No.4 house” They say:” We come from America.” They show me a card and say they work for that church. They say:” We have a big house, if you like you can shift to our house.” I say:” Thanks. One day I can come to have a look.” They ask my telephone number and say good bye to me.

After Few Days later, two boys H and B who are around 30 years old come to my house. They bring me a book and say they want me to go to their church. They come to talk to me for few times. They tell me one of them has Doctor’s degree, He can prepare me the medicines if I am sick. He also gives me some medicines. But one day, they come to see me, suddenly S comes back home and shouts to them:” If you want to talk to her, you can bring her home, you can not talk to her in my house.” S’s friend also shouts:” Get out our house!”  H and B’s faces are very red, but they do not say anything and go out.

 

Some voices say:” USA has the most advanced technology in the world. You can go to USA; maybe you can cure your disease there.” I ask H and B about this, they look at my passport and make a copy and tell me:” They must ask their higher authorities, but they are not sure where they are able to help me.”

On middle March, I receive letter from school, the class will start soon. There are only 3 days classes per week. I go to take 3 times classes in the Executive class and take 1 time in the normal class.

On March, there is suddenly a hearsay coming out: “She is xxx’s daughter-in-law (who is a current top government leader”. And at that time a lot of black boys appear, and more and more people believe in this hearsay. Those people who are torturing and harassing me also believe in that hearsay, and stop gossiping day and night, so I can sleep very well.

At nightfall, I would walk for a while around my house, and my walk become longer and longer everyday. One day, I go to see the Doctor. One the way I meet a man around 50. He invites me for a cup of water. He says he comes from Switzerland, he has big business in China, and he can cooperate with me to do business. I tell him that I am studying Master Degree; I wish that I can finish my Master Degree. I also meet a Taxi driver, a black boy, while driving the taxi, he care about my disease, he says:” You should lie down on the bed and take more rest!”  I meet an old Chinese lady while I walking, she gives me a medicine, and says:” It is an American Medicine.” But I do not eat, because I am taking H and B’s medicines, so I think it is safer to continuing with their medicines.

I go to the USA embassy to apply visa, pay the application fee and take the form home to fill in.

Those people who has been torturing and harassing me for 3 months has changed their attitude, they start saying:” xxx’s son is son of high ranging official, we can not against them.”

I seize the opportunity and tell them:” If you can put down your weapons, I will tell other people that it is my own willing to let you practice your weapons on me.”

 

The last time H and B come to see me, they bring many cups. We sit on the floor and they use their cups to build a pyramid. After finishing the pyramid, they take out 2 cups from the middle of the pyramid and seeing the toppling down pyramid and ask me: “We know there are 2 spoiled, but we don’t know which one. What do you think you should do?” I say:” Why don’t you build another pyramid?”

 

I am hearing CD almost everyday, maybe It is because the song:” One world we can make, all wonders love can bring” to make more people start thinking. I am thinking what I should do a little bit to make “One world.”

Some voices say:” xxx’s son believes in Buddhism!”  I know at least xxx’s son hearsay is help to save my life. I start to fast! I think this is the right way to do something little to show people that we should love, care and respect all race, religions and cultures. I know that I can not do more things, but only initiate everyone can join and do a little. The first initiations of mine are: love, peace, and environment.

 

Some voices still say:” Go to USA, we will arrange for you, don’t have to apply visa.”  They also say:” We will apply medical leaves for you.”  Because the change of their attitude, I believe in their word. And because even they have stopped to make me suffering from disease, but the harassment is also a kind of torturing.

Apr 2002

1 April 2002

I go shopping; I buy some clothes and go to a glassware shop. But only 2 minutes, all my clothes are stolen, I feel very sad, after come out from the glassware shop, I go to buy another same clothes. A friend of my father who comes from China and now stay in Sydney come to see me and stay in Melbourne for one night, then go back Sydney.

 

4 April 2002

This is the last day I stay in Melbourne. Tomorrow I will leave here. S lights up a pyramid shape candle. I think that there must be someone who is crying when I am suffering. There is something really unforgettable, even only some very small matter. Some fruits, some instant noodles, it is a trust and it is a caring. I always think it is grateful that there are some opportunity to meet such kind of trust and caring. Maybe it is a destiny. Maybe tomorrow; the day after tomorrow or even the further future, whether there will be another twinkling.